Ask Jackson – What I Fear

Dear Jackson,

Over the past few years I had two relationships. Both were long and we were both great friends. They had their ups and downs like any other relationship and ultimately ended. In both I gave myself completely and was entirely wrapped up emotionally. I think it is a good thing to give your all to something. One thing I fear is that in giving your all like that, when it’s over there are just memories. You feel like you spent yourself. I just wonder if I’d ever connect with someone to that point again where I am willing to do whatever, whenever, and fight for us. I don’t want to go backwards but I do miss my recent ex, not the relationship, but our friendship. I’ve known her since 2000 and we know the most about each other. She was my best friend. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not tearing me up inside but I do feel it. Looking back you always feel like you could have did this, or that, or maybe this wasn’t as big a deal as it was but, I believe that’s just a trick of the mind. I keep reminding myself that where I am now is far beyond where I was yesterday.

What I Fear

Dear What I Fear,

You would never have experienced the feeling of love and wanting to truly care for someone to the point that you would do anything for them if you didn’t allow yourself to be vulnerable and take a risk. Love is a beautiful thing and if you ever want to experience it again unfortunately your going to have to take a risk with your heart and emotions.

However you may have ended your relationships is probably why you second guess and keep wondering the what ifs. But reality is, you can what if about a lot of things. Your past will always be full of memories, good ones and bad ones. Your future is waiting to create new memories. It is always hard to let go of someone you truly loved especially a best friend, but remember, best friends are not always the best mate. Write out a list of all the qualities your heart desires in a mate. And without making excuses for these woman from your past, do they fit the list or even 90% of it.

Getting over someone you love is a process and it wont happen over night. What you feel is only natural.  You miss the relationship and the friendship you shared, the connection with your ex’s, what it represented, but I’m sure it’s not your ex’s itself that you miss.



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